CAN MEN AND WOMEN BE REAL WITH EACH OTHER?

How many times have you heard ladies say, I WANT A GUY THAT’S REAL? I’M TIRED OF THE FAKES. Then you take a look at her, and she’s got fake boobs, fake fingernails, hair that ain’t her’s, wearing under garments that hold in her bulges, fake eyelashes and caps on her teeth. Does a guy deserve a woman as real as he is?

 

What about the ladies that claim, I LIKE A LITTLE THUG IN MY MAN. The guy carries an illegal weapon, sells drugs on the side, and sees other women. Only for the ladies to be disappointed in the behavior of the Bad Boy! What was she expecting?

 

Then there is the lady who says she likes being around a man who’s generous with his woman. And it turns out she’s as selfish as hell, offering very little to the relationship other than her looks. Why would a woman like this think she deserved a loving, generous man?

 

Then you have a guy that has little trouble attracting women, however treats them as though they are inconsequential once he’s found a way into their hearts. This same guy is disappointed when he finally finds a women he really wants to be with, but she treats him the way he’s treated other women all of this time. Did he fail to recognize that you treat people the way you want to be treated? Does he deserve a woman that respects him, when he’s been so disrespectful?

 

How often do men and women meet without each trying to show off to the other? Are relationships caught up in a power struggle where one partner tries to show the other they have the upper hand? Or that the partner should feel lucky that they were chosen one?

 

Men and women can be awfully cruel towards the people they are not interested. Women tend to verbalize it and men internalize it. Is there a better way to relationships without all of the drama?

 

QUESTION EVERYTHING! THAT’S WHERE THE TRUTH RESIDES.

SNAKE BIT IN LOVE – HOW TO USE DATING AS A TOOL TO A MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP

Too many of us don’t know who and what we are, so how would we know what we want in a mate? The life that many of us talk, we don’t actually live. It’s more like wishful living. The ethics, morality, sincerity, and truth that we think we live, becomes a different story when you’re the main character in the event.

 

Self knowledge is an on-going project due to the infinite avenues and variations on a theme that play out within you. But the more self knowledge you have, the better your choices in life. However, in focusing on your likes and dislikes, your strengths and weaknesses, insuring your beliefs about self and life are based on your own personal experiences versus the beliefs of those you love and respect, and a strong awareness of your passions, you equip yourself with the information necessary to choose a proper mate for you. Many of us make our choices in a mate while we have no idea who we are. Thus, problem love relationships!

 

Passions are those activities you lose yourself in when you engage in them. Time and space get lost in your activity to the point that you can spend hours doing these things and then wonder where the time went. It’s my contention that your passions are your gifts to physical existence. What is inside you seeks to find expression. Your passions are activities you live to do, even if you don’t realize it.

 

Much of our frustration, depression and despair in life stems from this lack of self knowledge. Romantic love is so important in our society because of the number of people who lack self love. We tend to prefer the love of others over our love for ourselves. So romantic love for this individual becomes a long journey until they respond to the lessons of one’s experiences that are telling you what’s truly important. LOVE FOR ONE’S SELF!

 

ARE THERE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD WHO FIND TRUE LOVE WITHOUT HAVING FOUND THEMSELVES FIRST?

 

 

 

– Sure all the time! But that encounter doesn’t usually pay off for the individual lacking self knowledge. Why? Because they don’t recognize the prize they have since they are not the whole person, who would be aware of the proper mate. So their behavior would not be in sync with having the proper mate in one’s life.

 

See, the person lacking self knowledge must take many journeys in relationships before they are able to recognize what’s good for them and what’s not. Lacking self knowledge means you look for the superficial things about people that mean little in respect to a meaningful relationship. Looks, money, possessions, what a person does, and how others see you tend to predominate what folks think are important in a mate.

 

Respect, truth, honesty, faithfulness, loyalty, patience, self knowledge, humor, character, passions, ethics, morality, outlook on life, and allowing you to be who and what you are, tend to be items that are secondary to those qualities mentioned in the previous paragraph. As time passes, those things tend to mean less to you. It’s the inner qualities of substance that are meaningful and long lasting.

 

When dating, the person with self knowledge is really going through a sifting process. First, there is no urgency in finding a mate because there is an understanding that this is only a part of what makes the person who they are.

 

 

 

THEY HAVE A LIFE IN THEIR PASSIONS. So dating is basically a game of who is it that I like that I don’t want to change. Does it make this person perfect? Absolutely not! But the fact that you don’t feel the necessity in changing that person is a great sign.

 

Dating is a way of discovering if a person is one you want to take a life journey with, no matter the duration. Every solid relationship isn’t lifelong. Many of us don’t like to realize that. There is a mate that is great for you without children. Then there’s another that’s great for you with children. There’s another mate who will allow you to be who and what you are, but demands that same respect in return. Usually this is the person for you.

 

LOVE RELATIONSHIPS EXIST IN A SPHERE OF MUTUAL ACCEPTANCE OF ONE ANOTHER AS YOU TRULY ARE. ALL OTHER RELATIONSHIPS ATTEMPT TO LEAD YOU TO THIS ONE.

 

The person with self knowledge may indulge themselves in a relationship that is purely playful, knowing that relationship isn’t going anywhere. The person lacking self knowledge allows these relationships to take them on journeys that often cripple future relationships. Whereas the one with self knowledge uses the relationship as a vehicle to a meaningful one. The important element in these relationships is honesty; so the person knows their place In your life.

 

Anytime we see people as fixer uppers we aren’t allowing them to be who they are. You do yourself, and that individual, a disservice being this way. Sifting through people to come to what you want is much less complicated than taking relationship journeys out of not knowing who and what you are.

 

Dating is a fun vehicle for living life and discovering the proper mate. The seriousness level that many tend to bring to relationships is a road to dating blues and not dating heaven. When you think of the number of people depressed over their relationships or lack of, they’ve created this state with their lack of self awareness.

 

QUESTION EVERYTHING! THAT’S WHERE THE TRUTH RESIDES.

AMERICA, TELL AMERICAN CORPORATIONS OUTSOURCING TO `KISS OUR MULTI-CULTURAL ASS’ – Boycott Their Products.

I was in high school, an American Black male, when I started to discover my own personal power. Stated and unstated racism existed in much greater force then, than now. But I knew the power of my dollar. Why would I want to give my money, something they wanted, for them to treat me with less than respect? White owners and employees of stores I would frequent that didn’t treat me with respect, wouldn’t get my dollars a second time. That was my vote! That was my personal power! I took my business where the people treated me well.  Oprah!  No jewelery store is better than who you are!

 

Denny’s, a popular affordably priced restaurant, is still popular with many Black folk after a history of discriminating practices in hiring and in service. I have never been to a Denny’s. They could be giving the food away free, and I still wouldn’t go there. If you respect yourself, why would you give these folks an opportunity to mess with your food, disrespect you AND YOU PAY THEM TO DO IT?

 

Timberland Boots company insulted the Black population back in the early ‘80’s saying they didn’t want thugs and criminals buying their product, all while Black folks were the ones helping to make their bottom line. I haven’t bought another pair of Tims since. Sure, they apologized when they realized that statement could affect their bottom line. However, they showed their true colors; there was no need to buy again. It’s a matter of respect. Hip hoppers are still purchasing Tims like crazy. Wassup wit dat?

 

Christal recently made the same error in judgment as Timberland and businessman/rapper Jay-Z exhibited the respect I spoke about by rejecting that brand of Champagne in his club.  If it was the best champagne I had ever tasted, I would acquire a taste for something inferior before I would give them another cent.

Early last year I wrote an entry dealing with how middle class America is being treated the way Black Americans have been treated historically – with benign neglect. http://thecapt.blog-city.com/middle_class__working_class_americans_are_the_new_nigs_of_th_7.htm There’s no better way to explain what’s happening now to working and middle class Americans, while also noting how this is the way many Black Americans have been feeling all along.  These folks ignore your contributions!

With the poisoning in your sea food, pet food, tooth paste, inferior tires, lead in your children’s toys, etc. coming from China, where so-called American companies take away Americans’ good paying jobs to ship them overseas where the labor is dirt cheap with no benefits and almost no regulations for product safety. This is all to have higher profit margins.  They are selling products to us at prices that were no cheaper (and in most instances more expensive) than when Americans were producing them and they are less safe. Now that we’ve been finding more and more products inferior, many so-called American companies say they will make the adjustment, but Americans will have to pay 10% more in price. NOW AIN’T THIS A MUTHAF**KER?! ARE WE STUPID?! ARE WE WILLING TO ACCEPT THIS?

 

I want to tell all those multi-nationals (they are NOT American companies) and that humongous holding company for all products Chinese known as Walmart to KISS OUR MULTI-CULTURAL FAT ASS `CAUSE WE’RE GONNA BOYCOTT YOUR SHIT! And that’s just what it is.

 

As Americans, we can’t sit still for these companies to disrespect us like they’ve been doing. IT’S TIME TO BOYCOTT THAT SH… BUY AMERICAN!

 

This is a matter of self respect. Are we going to allow people to just do anything to us while acting like powerless whimps? IT’S TIME TO BOYCOTT THOSE PRODUCTS.  This isn’t China doing this to us, it’s so-called American companies playing the old winky dink on us.  Are we suckers?

 

Let them go a few quarters seeing how Americans ain’t buying that crap and see how fast they’ll be opening factories here. Collectively, we have to exert our personal power. This can be inconvenient in the beginning but you’ll be surprised at the new self respect you’ll experience.

 

QUESTION EVERYTHING!  USE YOUR PERSONAL POWER!

THE GOOD LIFE DOESN’T HAPPEN BY ACCIDENT!

Folks seeking happiness, often don’t realize what goes into being happy.  Life isn’t all about you, but you in context with others.  Outside of love, one of the strongest forces in the Universe is Sowing and Reaping or Karma.   The following is a game plan to finding the happiness frequency of life.

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. THREE. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. FOUR. When you say, ‘I love you,’ mean it. FIVE. When you say, ‘I’m sorry,’ look the person in the eye. SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight. EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much. NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling. ELEVEN. Don’t judge people by their relatives. TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly. THIRTEEN.  When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, ‘Why do you want to know?’
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk. FIFTEEN. Say ‘bless you’ when you hear someone sneeze. SIXTEEN. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson. SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions. EIGHTEEN. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice TWENTY- ONE.  Spend some time alone.

BLACK MEN STILL GO TO JAIL FOR DOING THE SAME THINGS WHITE MEN DO, BUT GO HOME!

Even President Obama acknowledged, IF I LEFT MY KEYS AND TRIED TO BREAK INTO THE WHITE HOUSE, I’D BE SHOT!  He also stated, THE CAMBRIDGE POLICE FORCE ACTED STUPIDLY WHEN THEY ARRESTED SKIP GATES.

Skip Gates is the reknown Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr., who was returning from filming in China, only to find he couldn’t get into his home.  With the help of his cab driver, Gates pushed in the door, prompting a neighbor to call the police believing a break-in was taking place. 

A Cambridge Police Sargeant, allegedly, responded to the call, eventually arresting Gates for ‘tumultuous behavior’, even though he produced his Harvard ID and driver’s license proving he belonged on the premises.   Gates was, later, released and the charges were dropped, however Gates has demanded an apology from the sargeant who arrested him – hinting if one wasn’t received, a law suit may follow.  Cambridge does have a recent history of being a hotbed of racial tensions – to put this in a little more context.

If you watch ‘COPS’ and/or AMAZING POLICE VIDEOS, you’ve seen incidences when the police have been cursed out by someone they’ve issued a ticket for a moving violation.  The policeman often takes the abuse, and courteously goes about his business… if the perpetrator is White.

It’s like the Black pro football player who was pulled over by a police officer, while rushing his family to the hospital to be at the death bed of his mother-in-law.  He had driven his SUV with his ‘hazard lights’ on, but had passed some red lights and stop signs.  The cop stopped him at the hospital.  The Black man’s family ran into the hospital, but the cop acted disrespectfully to the football player, ignoring the personal emergency that was taking place.  To make a long story short, the police department found the cops behavior to be unconscionable and suspended him.  They dropped the charges on the football player, and the cop re-signed his position.  A little respect could have avoided all of this.

The history of police and the Black community is one rife with bigotry – especially the strong connection between the police and the KKK, racial profiling, and their knee jerk reaction to shooting and killing Black men.  This is all about respect.

BLACK MEN STILL GO TO JAIL FOR DOING THE SAME THINGS WHITE MEN DO, BUT GO HOME!  Now, if you think that’s a lie, HOW MANY WHITE MEN HAVE BEEN ARRESTED FOR THE RIP OFF OF AMERICA IN THE STOCK MARKET, BANKING, MORTGAGE, AND REAL ESTATE INDUSTRIES?  Nuff said!

QUESTION EVERYTHING!  THAT’S WHERE THE TRUTH RESIDES.

GUYS, BOOBIES AND WOMEN’S SELF IMAGE!

Boobies, natural or enhanced…doesn’t matter to a lot of guys, just as long as you’ve got ’em.  But why do so many women allow male interest in big boobs affect their self image?  We see it in the media, hear the discussions in clubs and restaurants, and on the streets of New York among females (teens thru middle age) debating whether to enhance the size of their mammary glands and by how much.  It’s as though these ladies don’t believe they are women enough, just as they are.  Is there something wrong with this picture?  You bet!

Just like with Michael Jackson, when you have surgery to change your looks, you are saying to yourself and the world, THE WAY I AM, PHYSICALLY, ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH!  It’s a form of self hate.  You’re also saying, MAKING MY BOOBS BIGGER WILL MAKE ME MORE OF A WOMAN!   So often, these ladies believe having bigger boobs will make their lives better – an upgrade in guys, more opportunities in the work place and in life in general. 

The question becomes, ARE WOMEN WITH BIG BOOBIES LIVING LARGER THAN THOSE WITHOUT ENHANCEMENT?  It’s very likely that when it comes to an upgrade with guys, the enhancement ladies find they get more attention from folks they don’t really want.  Also, if guys are with you because of the size of your boobs, you haven’t upgraded the type of men in your life – you’ve increased the number of boobs in your life. 

Heidi Klum, Keira Knightley, Natalie Portman, Anne Hathaway, Lisa Leslie, Condie Rice, Christine Whitman, and Diana Ross are of different ages, and are just a few of those who found success without being endowed in the boobatitular area.  Intelligent, talented, industrious, and creative women who didn’t see having small boobs as a barrier to what they wanted to achieve in life.  These women have exhibited self love.  They’ve said, I AM GOOD ENOUGH AS I AM!  After all the trials, historically, women have had to endure in paternalistic societies around the world, there is something to be said for women who don’t accept men’s ideas, of what is being a woman.

How often do we hear those who want to get larger boobs say, I’M NOT DOING THIS FOR A MAN!  I’M DOING THIS JUST FOR ME!  Then, we see from her behavior, that she was doing it for a man/men.  Why would women allow men to determine their self image?  This question isn’t directed at women, who for health reasons, have had a breast or breasts removed and elect to have the surgery to look more like she did before.  Of course, most issues of enhancement of one’s boobs has to do with lacking self worth, self esteem and self love.  I CAN BE MADE BETTER THROUGH SURGERY!

Too often, the focus on the physical has led many women to be unaware of the qualities of substance within – respecting others and self, having an amicable personality, having an awareness of their passions & living them, helping others help themselves, overcoming challenges, the joy of life one brings to the table, etc. 

The truth is, the energy some women spend looking for fulfillment in boobies enhancement might be better spent in developing those qualities of substance listed in the previous paragraph.  Those that don’t, are suffering as much of an identity crisis as the talented, compassionate, and self hating Michael Jackson.

QUESTION EVERYTHING!  THAT’S WHERE THE TRUTH RESIDES.

WHY ARE SO MANY WOMEN WANTING, WHEN IT COMES TO A LOVING RELATIONSHIP WITH A MAN?

Even some of them that already have men, complain.  Women who believe the Lord Jesus Christ is their savior, women who have their own money, and even those who are educated and independent, good looks and nice bodies are having difficulty in having a romantically loving relationship that fulfills them.

Many of those who have men already (married, unmarried but living together, & have a relationship but are living separately) have given up virtually all their power to the man in their lives, giving him control over a relationship for which they are unhappy.  And when they stay in those relationships, without demanding the respect they deserve, the guy figures what he does is okay with his woman.  Many of these women are willing to be in a living hell just to hold onto a man that doesn’t really deserve them. 

Too many ladies in this predicament are professed believers in Jesus Christ and God, yet live lives of depression, unhappiness, disrespect, etc.  Do they really think this is what God/Christ wanted for them?  Remember, Christ said, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE FOR THOSE WHO BELIEVE!  Unless, those beliefs about self and reality are invalid and/or conflicting. 

So why, with this incredible Spiritual power available to them, are they living such unfulfilling lives and hold onto bad relationships?  Are they misusing and/or misunderstanding the Spiritual doctrines, or is their faith and belief not strong enough to change their circumstances?  Too many of these women seem to be empty vessels being used and abused by the men they love.  Again, IS THIS WHAT THEY THINK GOD HAS WANTED FOR THEM IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS?

The women who have used their talents to make their lives easier financially, often don’t have men at all or can’t seem to attract a man that fits in well with their flow.  Too often, these women attempt to apply the same techniques they use in doing business, as their approach to getting a man.  Annk!  Most times that doesn’t work.  If these women go for a while without a man, they too will sometimes let the man disrespect them through his behavior, hoping to hold on.  Why?

The beautiful women who have great faces and/or bodies often think that they’ve done everything they need to do by looking great.  But too often those women, caught up in their looks, are some of the most insecure women you want to meet because they don’t believe there is anything more they have to offer than their looks.  So they end up picking guys who are as superficial as they are, in judging character, yet stay in relationships without mutual respect and love. 

LADIES, HAVING BABIES FOR THESE MEN DON’T CONNECT THEM TO YOU MORE IN A LOVING WAY.  IT OFTEN WORKS TO YOUR DISADVANTAGE BY PUTTING MORE OBSTACLES BETWEEN WHERE YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOR THE BETTER.  SO FORGET HAVING BABIES AS A TACTIC TO GET LOVE.  IT STARTS WITH LOVING YOU!

Which brings us to the major reason for this misery – a lack of self love, self worth and self esteem.  If you don’t love yourself, why would someone who doesn’t know you, love you?  LOOKS?  Self love is a major ingredient in being able to recognize who is right or wrong for you. 

Love is expression (doesn’t matter what kind of love it is)!  Self love is self knowledge manifested or expressed in physical reality.  What does that mean?  It means, whatever is inside you is to be expressed physically.  Too many women don’t recognize or are even aware of the passions or gifts they have within them, that call for expression.  How many even know what their feelings and emotions are saying to them?  How many have attempted to find out?  Do they know their strengths and weaknesses?  Do they know how to use Spiritual Law to attract the man who is good for them in a relationship? 

Do they know how to recognize a man who is best for them?  When a woman truly begins to know herself, she gains knowledge as to who is right for her and who isn’t.  It becomes a sifting process.  See, the way you gauge who is right for you is like this.  THE GREATEST GIFT ONE CAN GIVE TO ANOTHER IS TO ALLOW THE PERSON TO BE WHO AND WHAT THEY ARE!  In allowing an individual to be themselves, you then can gauge whether you can accept their flaws or not.  If not, don’t try to change them, just let them know what is acceptable and what isn’t.  If they don’t want to change – NEXT!  See, to accept someone for who they are means accepting the total person, flaws and all. 

So this means, any man attempting to control you, change you, abuse you, disrespecting you, etc. is not the man for you.  You can tell him the first time it happens, but if it happens again, it’s time to kiss that guy goodbye.  Otherwise, your staying with him says to him, IT’S OKAY TO TREAT ME THIS WAY.  This is where so many of the women described above are, today!  They’re in bad relationships and stay in them for fear of not having a man.  Not having a man is better than being in a relationship with the wrong one. 

The first step is self love.  Get to know who and what you are.  You build self love by taking responsibility for the events that occur in your life.  Take the responsibility for overcoming the negative aspects of your life, through making better choices.  Discover, explore and share your passions/gifts with others.  Help others to help themselves.  This, is how self love is expanded. 

The greater a woman’s self knowledge the greater her ability to attract AND recognize the person who will be a good mate for her. 

QUESTION EVERYTHING!  THAT’S WHERE THE TRUTH RESIDES.

BEING OPEN TO LOVE IS NOT THE SAME AS LOOKING FOR LOVE!

People ask, ‘Can love be found online or in a bar?’  The potential for love can happen anywhere.  The main ingredient is your ability to ‘see’ or recognize a person of relationship potential with you.  This is where so many folks fail… male and female.  They lack the knowledge necessary to recognize who is and who isn’t good for them, personally. 

 

It’s said that 1 in 5 love relationships stem from online dating.  However, as any savvy internet user knows, PEOPLE WILL TELL YOU ANYTHING ON THE NET!  They will lie about their age, gender, sexual persuasion, income, who they are, what they do, etc.  So what does that tell you?  THERE’S NOTHING LIKE THE REAL THING!  Don’t fall in love with words on a page.  Love is based on experiences with another, however, if your experiences are limited to writing or the phone, exclusively, you don’t have enough informational experiences to fall in love.  You’re on an ‘infatuation’ high!  People looking for love often make some of the dumbest mistakes and take unnecessary life journeys from those errors. 

 

Folks who ‘look for love’ are often desperate for it.  They are not only a danger to themselves (emotionally), but also a danger to anyone who gets caught up in their desperation.  These aren’t the most stable people with respect to love.  Why?  They never learned how to love themselves.  So they bring the baggage of lacking self love – jealousy, promiscuity, lies, distorted behavior, insecurity, desperation, selfishness, fear, lack of trust, etc.

 

It takes a person with self love to be open to love, and have the ability to recognize the potential for a good relationship.  Why?  Self love is directly related to self knowledge.  An example of this love is:  You meet someone you’re very interested in.  You want to get to know everything about them.  THAT’S a quality of love, seeking knowledge (experiences) of another.  To seek knowledge regarding yourself is self love.  This knowledge is about your inner world of feelings, emotions, dreams, thoughts, ideas, talents, skills, passions, strengths weaknesses, etc. and how your inner world responds to the outer world. 

 

Being open to love doesn’t mean that anyone who comes along will do, or having to accept behavior you find doesn’t fit your life flow.  Dating is a sifting process to discover who fits your flow and who doesn’t.  Your self knowledge allows you to make better choices regarding who is and isn’t good mate potential.  When one has self knowledge they are aware of their passions, talents and skills, using them as your life path.  So you’re not waiting for that special man or woman to come along, because you’ll recognize it when it shows itself – WHILE YOU’RE LIVING YOUR LIFE.  How?  Due to the fact, LIKE RECOGNIZES LIKE.  You know, IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE!

 

Too many people believe to love someone is to control them, which is a relationship killer.  Why?  The only person you have control over is yourself.  If you find the need to control a person, THIS RELATIONSHIP ISN’T FOR YOU!  Some folks even think loving someone is to change that person into more of what they want them to be.  That’s a fatal mistake to healthy relationships.  Life is telling you, THIS RELATIONSHIP ISN’T FOR YOU!  Why?  Because, when you love someone, the greatest gift you can give your mate is to allow them to be who and what they are… even if it means not having that person in your life.

 

Look, there aren’t many people out there who don’t want love in their life.  However, the people with the greatest success in love are those who have self love.  They can appreciate what they have due to how well it works in their life.  Does that mean there’s never conflict?  Absolutely not!  Yet, there’s a great elimination of pettiness that kills many relationships.  And if you can’t laugh at yourself and each other, you’re lacking the healing power of enduring relationships.  Without humor, long relationships often become resentful and bitter with little romance.   At least, not for each other. 

 

A person with self love is not only open to love, but realizes the ability to create something with a potential mate that may not follow the traditional path of relationships.  Without expectations or pre-conceived ideas of how a relationship SHOULD work. 

 

When you have self love, you’re conscious of giving and receiving self respect.  If your potential mate disrespects you, it calls for you to say something since this is a clear red flag that there may be a problem here.  Respect is a given/basic for any type of relationship.

 

Self love lures love.  If you don’t love you, why would anyone else?

 

QUESTION EVERYTHING!  THAT’S WHERE TRUTH RESIDES.

LOVE PARTNERS ARE A NUMBERS GAME THAT BEST STARTS WITH FRIENDSHIP!

Entering the romantic game of love, being sensitive, easily hurt, and ready to quit at the first sign of rejection doesn’t shout success.  Self pity puts big holes in your armor.  But, if you discover the best you, showing confidence, there are few types of people that are beyond your reach.  The tougher your hide is to rejection (don’t take yourself so seriously), the easier it is to make friends.  And that’s where solid love relationships develop… out of friendship.

For longer than I’d like to admit, sales has been my thing.  If you can sell, consistently, you never have to worry about a job, you can create your own work (all you need is a product), and can live a cut above most folks who earn a salary.  Sales people are like the hunters of ancient times.  They make it possible for others to live and survive, giving them value to a society or business.  They make it possible for the salary earners to have jobs.  Why?  Because sales people bring in the money that allow businesses to survive and thrive.  If you don’t bring in money, your job is a cost to the company.  The best sales people are those who have the qualities mentioned in the last half of the first paragraph.

In love, like sales, see the winner in you!  It’s best to know your product (YOU), approach with confidence and a smile, know your pitch/approach, know your market (where your interests lie), be respectful and always be closing.  People buy from you because they like you and the product your selling.  People like being your friend because of how you make them feel: comfortable, free to be, attractive, of value, having a good time.  The same can be said about love: We love people based on how they make us feel about ourselves.  Unless you’re lacking self worth, feeling that you don’t deserve much better than the disrespect and/or abuse you’re receiving.

Lose all desperation!  People feel that a mile away.  Stay within yourself but with energy and confidence, not hype!  Don’t take yourself so seriously.  If this doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of the world.  ‘Next!’

Your gifts/passions are an excellent lure for your market of people, making it easier to close the friendship deal.  Use your gifts and passions!  People are attracted to folks with passions and a direction.  When you know you (self knowledge), you know your passions and direction.

WHAT ABOUT SUCCESS? – Success is adding to your flow of life the people and things that enrich living.  In sales, we it call ‘the numbers game’ because you have to go through a certain set of numbers/approaches before you get a sale.  The more fluid you are, the fewer numbers you have to go through.  You will meet a number of people where friendship is just not going to happen.  However, the law of probability says if you’re consistent with your approach, you will eventually land that friendship (sale) that’s right for your life flow.  Sometimes you’ll go through less numbers, other times you’ll go through more.  Keep in mind, success is just the next person away.

When I discovered the best ‘ME’ folks responded to in sales, I started using that personality in my public life with great results.  Wherever I go, I’m bringing a positive experience to those who engage with me.  In that experience, people want to do things for you (not that I’m usually asking).  Especially those you deal with regularly.  Folks tend to respond to your stimulus or energy.  What you give out, they will send it right back to you.  I say this because it’s good practice for those times when you’d
like to make a new friend (potential mate).  You don’t have to come off as someone you’re not, just throwing a line of bull.  And you don’t have to be the dreamiest guy/gal for this to work for you, either.

Just be you, with confidence!  Hey, IT’S A NUMBERS GAME!

QUESTION EVERYTHING!  THAT’S WHERE TRUTH RESIDES.

WOMEN ARE JEALOUS OF ME & MEN ARE INTIMIDATED BY ME! OH, REALLY?

How many times have you heard some women make that statement, with some men saying something similar?  Too many times to count, right?!  These folks live in a fantasy world of denial.  It’s a way to explain being lonely and unliked by peers without taking full responsibility (there’s that word again) for creating that unwanted reality. 

Often, these are attractive people, physically, with a sense of style in the way they dress and live (superficial).  They tend to think these trappings are important with respect to who and what they are, while being overly sensitive to remarks, from others, that don’t uphold how they see themselves.  They may have jobs and incomes they use to separate themselves from others… to say they are better.  Although they behave  with an ‘air’ of confidence, these folks are often very insecure people leading unfulfilled lives.  They really don’t intimidate potential mates.  These people are so insufferable that folks can’t stand to be around them for any length of time. 

Strong in the trappings of success, basic intelligence and attractiveness, hiding their inner ugliness, loneliness, and boredom, while wondering why they don’t have the love they believe they deserve in their life.

When people use the terms of jealousy and envy, too often those terms are used, incorrectly.  The word jealous is used when they really mean envy, and vise versa.  A person is jealous when they feel they are losing something to another making them feel less.  Like losing a mate to another.   Envy is when you feel you’d like to be in the shoes of another.  You know, you’d like to trade places.  That’s envy!  So women/men can only be jealous of a another who is taking something that once was theirs (so to speak).

Invariably, these folks want you to see the world as they do, and when you don’t, it becomes an insult to them.  They lack the ability to see when they insult or disrespect others, yet they have the idea that telling them the truth about how they actually behave is insulting and disrespectful.

When it comes to their love life, the people they’re interested in often find them too consumed with themselves, living in denial as to how a relationship functions, with much less self worth than their facade would lead one to believe.  The concept of treating others the way you wish to be treated isn’t truly realized in their lives.  It’s understood by their intellect, but it’s not actualized in their behavior.  To be oblivious to your behavior toward others, yet see any little negative thing directed at you as a personal affront, is to be absent from reality.  THAT’S exactly where these folks live… absent from reality.

These folks usually need a traumatic event(s) to move them to change, or they reach a state of ‘being sick and tired of being sick and tired’.  This state is a recognition that what one has been doing isn’t really working, and it’s time to approach life differently.  A psychologist or psychiatrist is often their  vehicle to this recognition.

When you know the motivations of your own feelings and emotions, it opens the avenues to understanding why people do what they do.  It’s what makes self knowledge so critical to understanding life.  It allows you to see perspectives outside of your own giving you a clearer picture of reality.  The more perspectives you engage, the greater your ability to see reality clearly (and clearer).  So many of us don’t even recognize our own perspective, no less someone from another race, religion, gender, nationality or way of thinking. 

So the next time you hear someone state the title of this entry, you’ll have enough awareness from what you’ve read, to read them like a book.  A relationship with someone like this may be fun in the short term (while they show you their most attractive self), but is a far cry from being long term relationship material.

To be the best you, calls for being responsible for your behavior, while understanding how your current behavior impacts your future according to the Spiritual Law of Sowing and Reaping!  The Law is in play, whether you are aware of the Law, believe in the Law or not!  That’s life!!

QUESTION EVERYTHING!  THAT’S WHERE TRUTH RESIDES!