SNAKE BIT IN LOVE – HOW TO USE DATING AS A TOOL TO A MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP

Too many of us don’t know who and what we are, so how would we know what we want in a mate? The life that many of us talk, we don’t actually live. It’s more like wishful living. The ethics, morality, sincerity, and truth that we think we live, becomes a different story when you’re the main character in the event.

 

Self knowledge is an on-going project due to the infinite avenues and variations on a theme that play out within you. But the more self knowledge you have, the better your choices in life. However, in focusing on your likes and dislikes, your strengths and weaknesses, insuring your beliefs about self and life are based on your own personal experiences versus the beliefs of those you love and respect, and a strong awareness of your passions, you equip yourself with the information necessary to choose a proper mate for you. Many of us make our choices in a mate while we have no idea who we are. Thus, problem love relationships!

 

Passions are those activities you lose yourself in when you engage in them. Time and space get lost in your activity to the point that you can spend hours doing these things and then wonder where the time went. It’s my contention that your passions are your gifts to physical existence. What is inside you seeks to find expression. Your passions are activities you live to do, even if you don’t realize it.

 

Much of our frustration, depression and despair in life stems from this lack of self knowledge. Romantic love is so important in our society because of the number of people who lack self love. We tend to prefer the love of others over our love for ourselves. So romantic love for this individual becomes a long journey until they respond to the lessons of one’s experiences that are telling you what’s truly important. LOVE FOR ONE’S SELF!

 

ARE THERE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD WHO FIND TRUE LOVE WITHOUT HAVING FOUND THEMSELVES FIRST?

 

 

 

– Sure all the time! But that encounter doesn’t usually pay off for the individual lacking self knowledge. Why? Because they don’t recognize the prize they have since they are not the whole person, who would be aware of the proper mate. So their behavior would not be in sync with having the proper mate in one’s life.

 

See, the person lacking self knowledge must take many journeys in relationships before they are able to recognize what’s good for them and what’s not. Lacking self knowledge means you look for the superficial things about people that mean little in respect to a meaningful relationship. Looks, money, possessions, what a person does, and how others see you tend to predominate what folks think are important in a mate.

 

Respect, truth, honesty, faithfulness, loyalty, patience, self knowledge, humor, character, passions, ethics, morality, outlook on life, and allowing you to be who and what you are, tend to be items that are secondary to those qualities mentioned in the previous paragraph. As time passes, those things tend to mean less to you. It’s the inner qualities of substance that are meaningful and long lasting.

 

When dating, the person with self knowledge is really going through a sifting process. First, there is no urgency in finding a mate because there is an understanding that this is only a part of what makes the person who they are.

 

 

 

THEY HAVE A LIFE IN THEIR PASSIONS. So dating is basically a game of who is it that I like that I don’t want to change. Does it make this person perfect? Absolutely not! But the fact that you don’t feel the necessity in changing that person is a great sign.

 

Dating is a way of discovering if a person is one you want to take a life journey with, no matter the duration. Every solid relationship isn’t lifelong. Many of us don’t like to realize that. There is a mate that is great for you without children. Then there’s another that’s great for you with children. There’s another mate who will allow you to be who and what you are, but demands that same respect in return. Usually this is the person for you.

 

LOVE RELATIONSHIPS EXIST IN A SPHERE OF MUTUAL ACCEPTANCE OF ONE ANOTHER AS YOU TRULY ARE. ALL OTHER RELATIONSHIPS ATTEMPT TO LEAD YOU TO THIS ONE.

 

The person with self knowledge may indulge themselves in a relationship that is purely playful, knowing that relationship isn’t going anywhere. The person lacking self knowledge allows these relationships to take them on journeys that often cripple future relationships. Whereas the one with self knowledge uses the relationship as a vehicle to a meaningful one. The important element in these relationships is honesty; so the person knows their place In your life.

 

Anytime we see people as fixer uppers we aren’t allowing them to be who they are. You do yourself, and that individual, a disservice being this way. Sifting through people to come to what you want is much less complicated than taking relationship journeys out of not knowing who and what you are.

 

Dating is a fun vehicle for living life and discovering the proper mate. The seriousness level that many tend to bring to relationships is a road to dating blues and not dating heaven. When you think of the number of people depressed over their relationships or lack of, they’ve created this state with their lack of self awareness.

 

QUESTION EVERYTHING! THAT’S WHERE THE TRUTH RESIDES.

FORCED EXPECTATIONS OF FIDELITY MISLEAD MANY IN LOVE.

Fidelity and monogamy are states one genuinely comes to through desire, and not due to force. Too often when you hear women discuss relationships, there’s usually talk about the shortage of available men. Yet, when you hear the criteria a man has to meet in order to be `good relationship material’, it’s easy to see why so many women are suffering from a shortage. They’ve created the shortage with their list of ridiculous must haves.

 

Recently, on The View, the ladies were discussing this issue with Sherri Shepherd and Elizabeth Hasselbeck having a list of `must haves’ in how they would choose or select a man. Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar exhibited a view that appeared more reality based in choosing a mate, than the other two. The list of priorities Sherri and Elizabeth wanted a man to exhibit had more to do with their comfort and insecurities In a relationship than it was in having a loving, workable relationship with someone for whom you care deeply and accept for who and what they are.

 

Joy and Whoopi challenged the lists of Sherri and Elizabeth asking, ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GOOD MAN YOU CAN SHARE YOUR LIFE WITH, OR ONE WHO WILL FIT YOUR SHOPPING LIST? Elizabeth Hasselbeck is married to football quarterback Tim Hasselbeck with the Arizona Cardinals. When I listen to his wife’s expectations of him in their marriage, I pity the fool. ;] She’s very insecure regarding pornography and basic interactions that occur between men and women. This can be very unhealthy in her relationship, because she could be making Tim feel he can’t be who he is as a person.

 

Sherri Shepherd was no better with her list. The guy had to have his own money, good credit, and had to come with certain possessions she felt a man his age should have. Whoopi was all over that, like white on rice.  When Sherri mentioned that the guy must believe in monogamy, Whoopi mentioned a good man doesn’t have to be rich, have a lot of possessions, and look like Denzel with good credit. She says he can be a man of integrity, who has passion for the things he does, and believes in treating you as though you are important to him.

 

Joy Behar’s significant other of 23 years is someone she lives with but hasn’t married. She talked about how their lives just meshed together over the years of dating. I know you’re asking,

 

HOW DOES THE EXPECTATION OF FIDELITY FIT INTO THIS?

 

First, I can’t say it enough, TRUE LOVE IS ALLOWING A PERSON TO BE WHO AND WHAT THEY ARE – EVEN IF IT MEANS NOT HAVING THAT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE!

 

A person is most comfortable when one is at one with one’s self. You allow the person to be who and what they are. If that person doesn’t feel comfortable, don’t ask them to change. Your comfortableness with the individual is your barometer as to whether this is a person you want to spend more time. In the time you spend together, you determine whether you can deal with the entire package – flaws, gems and all! In your communications, plus the give and take that transpires over time you can determine whether your individual flows, mix.

 

Many women believe monogamy or fidelity is a must in a love relationship to the point of believing they can convert a man into acting appropriately. The bad boy tells ladies what they want to hear, and then goes off and does whatever the hell he wants to do. Time reveals pertinent information about another through observation. Fidelity is something an individual feels as a gift toward another, due to the intimacy between them. Without proper communication, the intensity of that fidelity can fluctuate. So because someone feels monogamist at one time doesn’t mean that feeling can’t change.

 

Fidelity is like the shine on a pair of shoes. As the shoes go through events they begin to lose their luster. In order to get the shine back you have to polish them frequently. The same is true with fidelity and monogamy. They must be polished, frequently, to maintain their shine through how you interact in your relationship.

 

The first step in anything you do is to get to know yourself. The following links will give details about gaining awareness of who and what you are, and how to examine your belief system to assure your beliefs are in line with your experiences rather than the beliefs of those you love and respect.

 

http://thecapt.blog-city.com/index.cfm?search=belief+system

 

http://thecapt.blog-city.com/index.cfm?search=self+knowledge

 

When you are true to yourself, you can then be true to another. Plus, you’ll have the inner knowledge to recognize `it’ in others. Time spent together and apart, communication, sharing one’s passions, and taking the time to discover who and what your partner is, are ways you polish fidelity/monogamy. It is this information that allows you to make the decision whether this is the direction you want to go with this relationship.

 

Dating is a sorting out process that takes time. The initial infatuation people have for one another often blinds us to the realities of what a relationship like this really means to us. Time has a way of clearing one’s vision. This is why a mutual discovery of one another is important, during dating, to discover who works well with your life flow. But knowing yourself first often keeps you from taking love journeys that are repetitive and lack growth.

 

SOLID INDIVIDUALS CREATE RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEIR OWN COMPASS.  IT DOESN’T HAVE TO FIT A TRADITIONAL PATTERN.

 

Your personal power stems from your self knowledge. When you lack this information, you increase the likelihood of making a number of bad choices in life.  We all learn from our mistakes, but it’s the repetition of them that frustrates us.  This happens because you don’t know yourself well enough to make proper choices.  Many people get glimpses of happiness and fullfillment. With the personal power of self knowledge, you’re able to make choices that allow you to sustain those states in varying degrees – rather than just experiencing them on occasion.

 

QUESTION EVERYTHING!  THAT’S WHERE THE TRUTH RESIDES.  USE YOUR PERSONAL POWER!